How Many Babies?

By Bub

How many babies?
I thought there were four,
but they were just pumpkins.
I had wondered what they were doing on that porch all alone after dark

How many babies?
A box full -
shipped by Amazon to your doorstep

How many babies?
There are a dozen.
They come with cheese sauce & marinara,
and a 2-liter of Pepsi

How many babies?
About a million, I guess.
I don't know… Who are you?
The baby police?!

How many babies?
Oh, I see...
You are the baby police.
I'm going to need to speak with an attorney

How many babies?
It is impossible to tell.
According to the C.D.C.,
new strains are mutating daily,
perhaps quicker

How many babies?
One, up there, in that corner above the door!
Don’t turn the light on,
you’ll antagonize it.
I’m afraid

How many babies?
Too many to keep track of…
Don’t worry, they’re friendly.
They’ll wander back here, eventually

How many babies?
200-300 in column formation;
bayonets tucked into their diapers;
grenades in their toothless mouths

How many babies?
More than you'll ever know.
As many as there has ever been -
four, real quiet, pumpkin-shaped babies.
I wonder what they’re doing on that porch all alone after dark