Twitt-ocalypse Now - 6/10/12

By Ryan - @rwoodsmall

Been stocking up on insurance. Got some deals at CostCo. Kids are getting sick of eating insurance, but what can you do in this economy?
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

#PlacesYouAlwaysFindUglyPeople the netherworld below my apartment I found quite by accident. Please help I am trapped in this negative space
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

#AskFlocka What's your fave Camus? I really like the Lyrical & Critical Essays collection, but it's somewhat different from his other work.
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

There was an Ancient Aliens marathon on all day and nobody told me about it. I can't believe you'd let this happen. So mad.
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

how to go viral online for profit site:ehow.com
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Kramer becomes a standup comedian then screams racial epithets at an audience. He starts a "funny racist" twitter account. #updatedseinfeld
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Jerry won't shut up about P90X & the paleo diet. George starts using bath salts & imagines Susan's ghost is haunting him. #updatedseinfeld
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Elaine is in a diabetic coma. Poppy is convicted for running a drug ring out of his restaurant. #updatedseinfeld
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

meet the secret benefactors of the coming blight. they're unhappy too. they don't know any better. can we blame them? goodnight?
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Coffin Birth Junior #goodbabynames
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Saw Prometheus. Raised a lot more questions than it answered: why are a lion, a giraffe, a hippo, a zebra & a penguin in Europe? An enigma!
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

HD so clear you can see a cat hair stuck to some guy's face, or the disappointment in his brow as he realizes what he's become - SAMSUNG
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Do they make @invisalign for your nipples? How about balls? Invisaballs.
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

haveing fun & makeing jokes on privately held website twitter using mass produced phone running proprietary software on private cell network
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Decaf iced Americano? Come on lady. Just drink a water. Decaf. It's fucking SATURDAY!
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Spotted in public: lone man in Zelda ball cap playing Diablo 3 on his giant gaming laptop. Not what your mother & I meant by "getting out."
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 10, 2012

Ridley Scott is fucking insane. Why was Rupert Murdoch the main character in that movie, and why was it about Arnold hunting Predators?!
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

Ayn Rand's The Amazing Spider-Man
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

This guy keeps pressing the crosswalk button like it'll make the light change faster or is even hooked up to anything. twitter.com/rwoodsmall/sta…
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

@sad_tire i'll be the guy pressing the crosswalk button hundreds of times even though i know it's futile because i already do that.
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

bought some gummy candy to sneak into the movie i walked to because i'm a gainfully employed thirty three year old adult male (for now)
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

hashtag blatantly obvious misuses of representation in philosophy applied to situations in everyday life hastag jerkoff motion
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012

just standing in a public parking lot, pointing at empty "compact car" spots, telling passersby "that's not a car" & doing a jerkoff motion
— ryan woodsmall (@rwoodsmall) June 9, 2012