By Jake
Here at One Year in Texas, we have tried many ways to make some money: ads, prostitution, selling bath salts to cannibals, husking corn at the supermarket for the elderly and opening our own fraudulent wishing well. None of these have worked! We have made no money.
Bub, Ali and I are trying to record an album, but we need a little bit of money to purchase recording devices and instruments. Trust me, it will be worth it. I will write a sequel to the Eddie Money hit "Electric Avenue" titled "Return to Electric Avenue." Ali will rap about Garfield. Bub will croon about a cursed mummy. How could you not want to hear those songs?
It's easy and rewarding to donate. How is it rewarding? There are rewards! If you donate $666 one of us will convert to satanism for the rest of the year. If you donate $50 you get our album and a copy of Bub's book "Bub vs. The Volcano." If you donate $70, I will make you cookies. For $100 you get a portrait of a lettuce sandwich painted by Ali. Those are all fairly affordable, even in this collapsing economy.
I am begging you, literally, to donate. It will be a lot of fun to record this album and have some new equipment to work with. It will be fun for you to have the album, book, cookies, painting or one of us converting to Satanism. You can even get a special newsletter/magazine style version of OYIT with never before posted content. Or you can get the handwritten "Life with Mikey" notebook with Mikeyisms that were "too hot" for OYIT.
Donate Here and we will be so thankful. At the time of this writing we are $700 away from our goal.
How can we ensure you truly accept the values of Satanism into your heart?
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