By Jake
Aisha
Tyler is now co-hosting “The Talk.” She joins Sara Gilbert, Julie
Chen, Sharon Osbourne and another new co-host Sheryl Underwood.
Warner
Bros. has hired Drew Pearce to write “Sherlock Holmes 3.” Is there
even a second one? Are they just skipping it? What is going on over at
Warner Bros.?
Joss
Whedon made a film version of “Much Ado About Nothing” on the DL. He
just finished principle photography (that means he filmed it).
Scott Baio is set to star in Nick at Nite’s first sitcom, “Daddy’s Home.” I’m sure this will not be terrible.
AMC has renewed “The Walking Dead” for a third season.
The Farrelly brothers want to make another “Dumb and Dumber” movie.
Patrice O’Neal suffered a stroke. I am just assuming he suffered.
FX will air a Charlie Sheen sitcom called “Anger Management.” Is it based on the Adam Sandler film? Possibly.
Movies Out Today
Puss
in Boots - Finally, Shrek II gets a spinoff. Antonio
Bendaras reprises his voice over roll as the titular puss (“Titular
Puss” would be a good name for an all-girl garage band). This is what
the world has been waiting for, but are we ready? I’ll let you know
when the box office receipts come in. See this movie if you enjoy
things that take place 300 years ago but make references to things that
took place 15 years ago.
In
Time - Justin Timberlake stars as a watchmaker who cannot
find the time to find love. Or it’s about some kind of dystopian future
set in a PG-13 world. Either way, are you actually going to see this?
I know that I am not.
The
Rum Diary - Johnny Depp stars as not Hunter S. Thompson in
this adaptation of one of Hunter S. Thompson’s novels. Also, Terry
Gilliam does not direct this film. So why are people telling you that
it’s going to be like “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”? Probably
because they are on drugs. People who are on drugs are usually out of
the loop, except for on the subject of ridiculous slang to call drugs.
Other Thoughts
Last
week I tried to be nice. I tried to justify my anger/negativity. It
was a much less popular article than the week before. This week, I’m
going to be negative to a fault.
Top 10 Things I Hate This Week
1. People who hate “Whitney.” It’s the best show on TV.
2. The Office. I get it, you’re at work.
3. T-shirts with TV characters’ catch phrases
4. Coldplay
5. Nickleback
6. Carmen Sandiego. Nobody is looking for you anymore, bitch.
7. People obsessed with bacon. It’s annoying and you’re going to die sooner than I am.
8. The movie “Clue.” It’s a bad movie.
9. The “Shrek” series of movies including “Puss in Boots.”
10. Making this fucking top 10 list. Why did I even do it? It wasn’t fun to do and nobody is going to enjoy it.
Calling Whitney the best show on TV is, hands down, the most offensive thing you have ever said on this site, including the Firefox tip article, the one about Jeffrey Jones and the one where you talked about where David Goldstein spent the day on 9/11 since he knew not to go to work.
ReplyDeleteI was just baiting people! But I do like that show (to a degree). It doesn't belong on Thursday, but it is somewhat enjoyable. Plus, I just took me baiting you about Whitney being the best show on TV on chat and translated it over to this article.
ReplyDeleteI know and readers love a controversy so I think this will be the biggest article in Untertainment Weakly history!
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope so! I'm hoping my "Clue" baiting with have people up in arms, too. That movie is really terrible.
ReplyDeleteOh and I meant to say I love Sara Gilbert too! I've watched over 20 minutes of that awful TV show she is on just to see her talk about some inane bullshit.
ReplyDeletehey i loved bacon when i was alive and now look where i am today
ReplyDelete