Untertainment Weakly (7-1-2011)

By Jake 

Your prayers have been answered: “The Marriage Ref” has returned for a second season!

Tom Hanks said that there will be a Toy Story 4.

Tea Leoni and David Duchovny have separated.

“Two and a Half Men” will be killing off Charlie Sheen’s character, which will coincide with Charlie Sheen’s actual death.

Martin Short has joined “How I Met Your Mother” for a recurring role, giving me yet another reason to never watch the show.

Comedy Central has picked up a new show starring “Nick Kroll.” So I guess now he has two shows.

Charlie Sheen has divulged that he took steroids for “Major League,” smoked crack for “Two and a Half Men.”

Paul Scheer has a new Adult Swim show called “NTSF:SD:SUV::” I’m sure it will be crazy.

There’s going to be a terrible sequel to the “Thor” movie.


Movies Out Today
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Okay, this movie is going to make a ton of money. Yet, it will likely be the worst movie released this year. I don’t know if it will be as racist as the second one, but I certainly hope it is. The second one made so much money, probably because it was so racist. Racists love cars that turn into robots, but not as much as they hate different races.

What in the hell does “Dark of the Moon” mean? They left out the word “side” from the title, to not get sued by the light rock band Pink Floyd, I guess.

Are you going to see this movie? Did you seriously like any of the previous films? Why? Seriously, how could you have liked them? They were absolutely terrible. Michael Bay is one of the worst filmmakers of our lifetime. Sure, there are worse directors, but they don’t get hundreds of millions of dollars for their film budgets and people don’t see those films in droves. Does making money make you a good filmmaker? No, it doesn’t. It just means you’re good at tricking idiots into seeing your shit movies.

Fuck you if you see this movie.

Other Thoughts
I saw a lot of really good movie this week. Check out my movie blog to read longer reviews of these movies and others.

Metropolis - A masterpiece. 10/10
Umberto D. - Great and directed by Vittorio De Sica. 10/10
Mean Streets - Liked it a lot. 9/10
One-Armed Swordsman - A good kung-fu movie, although I don’t like sword fighting as much as I do, hand to hand combat. 7/10
The Man from Nowhere - Korea’s top grossing movie from 2010. It is like Taken a little. 7/10

6 comments:

  1. This was really funny! What is Nick Kroll's new Comedy Central show?? I'll watch Umberto D because of your recommendation!!!

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  2. It's called the The Nick Show Kroll. I guess it's probably skits of him doing his various characters.

    Umberto D was great. If you liked The Bicycle Thief (which is my favorite movie) then you will like it. It's similar in theme/tone.

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  3. Whoa, there is so much to cover then. I don't think I can do it in a comment.

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  4. I loved the Bicycle Thief! It reminded me of when I used to steal bicycles due to crushing poverty!! Nick Kroll's characters are pretty great!!!

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  5. I rarely trust anybody with movie recommendations, but I'll give Umberto D a try.

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  6. I forgot to say that I watched Persona, too. I liked it, but was very confused by the last 15 or so minutes. I think I might like it more if I watched it again, but I doubt I will.

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