Bub's Public Joke File: Osama Bin Laden Edition

By Bub 

If Osama Bin Laden, Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer enter into a contest to see who can go the longest without masturbating, Osama Bin Laden will win.

Despite Bin Laden's deep hatred of Jews, Kramer would still be the most racist.

If Osama Bin Laden was a red-haired orphan, adopted by a millionaire military-industrialist, he could no longer in good conscience sing 'The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow'.

And apparently 'It's a Hard Knock Life'.

He will continue to sing 'You're never fully dressed without a smile'.

And that song by Lady Antebellum.

He never drank, but he made his fair share of 'Qat-calls' to ex-girlfriends.

Then he had them beheaded.

C-material - If Osama Bin Laden were a character from The Wizard Of Oz, he wouldn't be The Wicked Witch, and he wouldn't be the Scarecrow though he is now missing his brain; nor would he be the Tin Man even though he is as heartless a bastard as they come; and he wouldn't even be the Cowardly Lion even though he stridently mocked innocent victims of his terrorist attacks but then used a woman (because he thought women were inferior) as a human shield; he'd be that dead munchkin hanging in the background in the forest.

B Material - If Osama Bin Laden were a character from The Wizard Of Oz, he'd be that dead munchkin hanging in the background in the forest.

A material - If Osama Bin Laden were a character from The Wizard Of Oz, he'd be that dead dwarf. Or maybe Uncle Henry.

If bullet-faced Osama Bin Laden were a judge on American Idol, he'd still look more like an alive human being than Steven Tyler.

If Osama Bin Laden watched Toy Story 3, he'd still cry at the ending.

For wasting two hours of his afterlife.

If Osama Bin Laden were in the NBA playoffs, he would NOT DO VERY WELL!

AND

If Osama Bin Laden were Martin Luther King he'd still be pretty happy we killed Osama Bin Laden.