By Bub
Wonder Bread - "The poor man's birthday cake"
Veggie Tales - "Because talking vegetables are easier to swallow than Christianity"
Kraft Singles - "Suspiciously cheesy"
Segregationist Tyler Perry Brand Water Fountains - "For Colored Girls Only"
Old Spice - "Slightly rotted"
Hungry Hungry Hippos - "Delight at their starvation"
Denny's - "We know what you've been up to"
Trojan Brand Condoms - "Not just for penises anymore"
R.C. Cola - "Racist's Choice"
Air Tran - "We mechanize the Bernoulli Principle so you don't have to"
Caribou Coffee - "Too good for elk"
Oral B - "Our toothbrushes have never sponsored terrorism"
How could these be failed? Tomorrow I am going to start my day with coffee that is too good for elk, then rub on some Old Spice after I brush my teeth with an Oral B before I catch my AirTran flight on which they will serve Kraft Singles and Wonder Bread sandwiches with Racist's Choice while I watch Veggie Tales on my laptop before I go to watch a live taping of Segregationist Tyler Perry Brand Water Fountains - The Show! Later at Denny's I will play a round of Hungry Hungry Hippos before putting my leftovers in some Trojan magnums and heading home to do it all over again the next day.
ReplyDeleteHaha! So f-ing funny!
ReplyDeleteAndy needs to comment on the Air Tran one.
ReplyDelete