Life with Mikey (Thanksgiving Special)

By Mikey 

Mikey has been put on an indefinite suspension due to issues involving the use of popular brand names that I'm not at liberty to go into very much detail on. He still had some Mikeyisms to burn off and requested a forum to do so. I almost told him to fuck straight off, but then I realized there haven't been very many articles going up these days. Enjoy this special presentation of Life with Mikey. - Jake



Slimer is one of the all time great film rebels.

I don't have lice, but I sometimes consider getting the shampoo that kills them anyway.

"Joy to the World" is the best song about frogs.

How did the gang on Gilligan's Island wash their clothes?

Pro atheletes are heroes unless they use steroids or throw firecrackers at children.

Gravy cannot hide all of your mistakes.

Gary Larson is my favorite artist.

Popeye and I have vastly different reactions to spinach. I must be allergic.

That "no more tears" shampoo isn't kidding.

You could cover a spare tire in barbeque sauce and I'd still eat it.

"I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" is a great song, but not a good habit.

I only let my cat play with yarn on special occasions.

Wiffleball should be the national pastime.

I kind of miss having a locker, but I guess I can just keep my stuff in my house now.

"Three Blind Mice" is not a very politcally correct song. I find it offensive and I'm not blind or a mouse.