Hi everybody. I opened a Twitter this week. Come and tweet with me about this and that. It's @mikeyOYIT. I tried to get @LifewithMikey, but somebody already had it. I contacted Twitter about it, but I don't think they cared.
Bear claws sound like they'd be awful, but they're pretty much just donuts.
Why do people need to lick salt off of their hands when they drink tequilla? Is it like dipping a beef sandwich in au jus?
'Mississippi' has so many double letters in it that it makes my head spin.
Cigarette smokers are stupid, but they should be able to smoke in a bar.
Doing push-ups is supposed to be good exercise, but when I do a few I feel like my chest is about to explode.
When I play Scrabble I always end up with all vowels for the entire game. That is not my idea of a good time.
Sometimes when I'm alone I put on some Paula Cole and dance.
If I was in a sketch comedy group our name would be "The Scrambled Eggs." But I have stage fright.
Chewing tobacco seems like a pretty awful way to get high. SO MUCH SPITTING.
What can I wear with a turban?
I cannot get enough of Lemonheads recently. They might be a little too sour, but they're better than what the competitors have to offer.
How does crayola have the entire crayon market cornered? I guess the government is spending all their time worrying about Microsoft.
I have never done Algebra since I got out of high school.
Smashing coins on train tracks might seem like a waste of money, but it is actually pretty cool and fun.
If I had a printer, I would print off a lot of coupons.
I don't think the feeling you get from tobacco is considered being "high." Plus, you only get that feeling if you don't smoke/chew all of the time.
ReplyDeleteAlso, just start a sketch comedy group already. I'm sick of hearing about it!
Doesn't Twitter know you are the REAL Life With Mikey? lame.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I would lay off the bear claws and beef sandwiches. Sounds like you're going to have a heart attack next time you exercise! Where would your wife and child be then?
You may not be doing pushups correctly!
ReplyDeletewhat the fuck are you talking about?? turbans are far too exotic for you
ReplyDeleteI certainly know how you feel about push-ups didn't like them when I was alive won't do them now that I'm dead
ReplyDelete