Jake on Movies (10-01-10)

By Jake 

Everybody likes movies, right? Wrong! I met a guy who didn't care for them once. The only entertainment he liked was the music of Phillip Glass and reading book reviews. The rest of us like films, and that is what this article is about--films. So let us take a look at what is coming out or "dropping" at the theaters today.



The Social Network
If you do not get enough Facebook at home, then Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher have made a movie for you. It is about Mark Zuckerberg creating Facebook. I heard there is a really great cameo from Farmville and Super Poke.

Case 39
Renee Zellweger stars in a movie that nobody will be talking about around the watercooler on Monday, and not even because nobody can land an office job anymore. This movie is going to be terrible (I assume, since Zellweger is in it). It is about a case, the 39th in a series of cases. I do not want to go into too much detail as to not spoil the movie for the 15 people who see it.

Life as we Know It
You know summer is officially over by the number of shitty Katherine Heigl movies that are hitting the cinemas. Is there any celebrity more annoying or less interesting than Katherine Heigl? Perhaps her co-star Josh Duhamel. I don't know who that guy is, but from seeing the trailer on Hulu, I know that he is awful and this movie is going to produce more cringeworthy moments than a snuff film. If you tell me you like this movie to my face, I will punch you in yours.

If you are going to throw your money away this week, do yourself a favor and see The Social Network. Do you seriously need to go to the theater to see that, though? It's just going to be people walking and talking. Buy the West Wing Season 1 DVD used off of Amazon for the same price as a movie ticket.

Here are my Netflix Instant Watch hot picks for the week:
Branded to Kill
Duck Soup
The 400 Blows

Also, feel free to visit my movie review blog, where I put about a 1/4 of the effort into writing reviews than I do into writing articles for One Year in Texas. That was a really terrible plug. Don't visit it, I don't give a shit!