I don't mind when it starts getting cold outside. Sure, it has its drawbacks, but I get to wear sweaters and my wife doesn't interupt me in the middle of a History Channel documentary about World War II to tell me I need to mow the lawn--she tells me to shovel the snow instead! But at least it doesn't take as long, and I probably have already seen the documentary before.
One of my all-time favorite comic pairings is Rodney Dangerfield and Jackée in Ladybugs. They're hysterical.
I wonder why the Look Who's Talking sitcom didn't work.
Who eats aparagus!? How do you even cook it?
Wisconsin spends too much thinking about cheese and not enough time thinking about fixing the roads.
It is always okay to eat pizza.
If rules were just meant to be broken, why would anybody even make the rules in the first place? It just doesn't make sense.
If you get addicted to cough syrup then you are a really big loser.
I like to sit on my porch and crack open a root beer on a really nice weekend day.
If there is a more perfect food than loaded nachos I don't know what it is.
Being insane isn't a good reason for committing murder. Murder is never okay.
Hunting is a sport like paint by the numbers is art.
I am a Christian, of course, but I still enjoy a magic show. It's not a dark art, it's an illusion.
People never get dressed up anymore unless they're going to film a sex tape.
Why would people go ice fishing? Who needs to catch ice? Just kidding, ice fishing is really fun.
I couldn't be an astronaut because of the horrible food they have to eat.
You couldn't be an astronaut because you're not smart enough, you f-ing dolt!
ReplyDeleteMaybe not a NASA one, but if he paid the cash he could go up privately.
ReplyDeleteladybugs??? are you fucking kidding?
ReplyDeleteI ate a ton of asparagus on Sunday, Mikey. A TON! And it was cooked!
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