One Week In Entertainment

By Katy

Hello everyone! Glenn is busy doing a sit-in at Ground Zero to support New Yorker's right to kosher, veggie hot dogs, so I'm taking over entertainment this week. I'm really excited. I actually loathe celebrity gossip, current events, political scandals, and popular culture all at once, but I plan on getting pretty into it today. Shit has gotten fairly ill.

ICP FANS BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF TILA TEQUILA

Some crazy-stupid PR agent thought it would be phenomenal if MySpace and destroyer-of-outspoken-sexual-freedom "star" Tila Tequila sang at a concert in Illinois with The Kottonmouth Kings and ICP. If that isn't a set up for intolerance and violence I don't know what is. But since it was a set up for intolerance and violence, over 2,000 ICP fans pelted Tila with beer bottles, rocks, and even "took the sh*t out of the port-o-potty and threw sh*t and piss at [her] when [she] was onstage." Violent J of ICP isn't particularly empathetic since he warned her there were rumors about mass violence. But he did say he was disappointed in the crowd's reaction, boldly and intelligently stating, "I wish they didn’t throw stuff at her."

RAPE IS BAD...and easy

If you slept until 11AM today (12PM Eastern time/10AM Mountain Time/9AM Pacific Time) then you missed Wikileaks founder Julian Assange being accused, warranted, and acquited of rape and sexual molestation charges all within four hours. I wish my rape charges were so easily discarded.

WILL SHE NEVER LEARN?!

Kourtney Kardashian has been rumored to make the statement that she will "probably have another baby" with partner Scott. If you've been Keeping Up with the Kardashians as much as I have, you'll know Kourtney's family (especially her mom and sister, Khloe) loathe Scott Disick with the fire of a thousand burning temples. I think we'll all be pretty interested to see how the fifth season turns out.



"EITHER DO ANOTHER REALITY SHOW WITH ME OR I'M GOING TO RELEASE AMAZING SEXUAL CONTENT."


While I've made that statement several times to various lovers, this time the sentiment is coming from Spencer Pratt as a love token to estranged wife, Heidi Montag. I didn't even know these two people got married. I didn't realize they were having problems. But I had certainly assumed they made a sex tape together that Spencer was hoping to one day hold it over Heidi's head when the possibility of becoming unimportant finally hit him. Actually, Spencer literally told TMZ that Heidi was aware that his one and only goal in life being to get famous off reality television (and quite frankly, sex tapes are pretty real). He met her at a hotel to hand off her dogs and verbally held her captive while he sadly pled his case. It's people like Spencer and Heidi that make me hoe I never understand love.

TWEET, TWEET, BITCHEZ

Once upon a time, Ashton Kutcher ruled the celebrity Twitter netways. Then, *BOOM*, Britney Spears stepped in and stole his spotlight the way she stole Justin Timberlake's virginity, and not unlike American Muslims are stealing our ex-Burlington Coat Factories to build their worship temples. Now, a new Tweet Queen is stepping up: Lady "Tweet Tweet" Gaga. According to People Magazine online, the pop diva herself has taken back Twitter, "besting Spears by approximately 6,000 followers." I challenge each and every OYIT reader to grab the title out from under Lady Gaga's questionable private parts. By this time next week, One Week in Entertainment better be about YOU.


And that's about all the insanity I think we can handle for this week in entertainment. Go and get some followers!