One Week in Entertainment

By Glenn 

This was a slow week in entertainment. Although the new Arcade Fire album was released and that man from the airplane yelled at people and then left, no one was killed. The only people who died were in politics, which is a separate entity from entertainment. As a warning, I hope to start writing a little about books too. Not often or with any serious thought, but it's time to start catering to bibliophiles instead of just pedophiles.

KATY PERRY GETS 'HEARTS RACING' IN HER SKIN-TIGHT JEANS
Katy Perry is wearing jeans with holes in them. They are featured in her new video "Teenage Dream," the self-proclaimed, Thurston Moore-approved and David Bowie-approved sequel to Sonic Youth's "Teenage Riot" and Bowie's "Teenage Wildlife." These jeans are Diesel brand and in November you can get your own pair for $170. That's a real steal considering the cultural value of having the same pair of jeans as Katy Perry.

ELIZA DUSHKU AND RICK FOX LOVE LIVING TOGETHER
Living together is a very important step in a modern relationship. 500 years ago, you wouldn't move in together until you were married. These days even celebrities will live together, though it's made a lot more complicated by all of their money. They've been dating for almost a year, which seems like a solid time period to get to know a person before you live together. Eliza Dushku is 29 and Rick Fox is 41.

CHRISTINA RICCI DEBUTS NEW BROADWAY BOB
Right now is a season of change for actress Christina Ricci. She will be staring in her first Broadway play soon: Time Stands Still, a musical based on the Neil Young album Times Fades Away. Also she has a new haircut, a "bob," to indicate this life change. I like making multiple life changes at once too, so I understand why she did this. Plus her hair looks nice. She said she's getting extensions soon. Christina don't do it!

BUSTED: KRISTEN STEWART & ROBERT PATTINSON SNUGGLE IN MONTREAL
No one knows if KS and RP are actually dating or if it's all just method acting because they love each other in the Twilight films. They are silent about it, like most politicians regarding the Israeli occupation of Palestine, but now these are photos out of them snuggling. You only snuggle with people you love, or are dating. They were in Montreal to film a new movie and preside over the destruction of Olympic Stadium, where the Expos used to play.

EAT PRAY ZILCH
Even though there is a new movie out featuring Julia Roberts going on a spiritual journey and finding happiness, many people will never find happiness. In the New York Post this week, it is revealed that women like the Roberts' character have tried to seek out gurus and yogis and other new-age charlatans to find enlightenment. Some say it works, but most say it cost a lot of money with uncertain results. Do you have twenty thousand dollars to spend on a trip to India? If you do, you should ALREADY be happy and feel enlightened. That's the inverse of the Oscar Wilde quote "Who, being loved, is poor?"


Have a great week in entertainment.