20 Things I'd Rather Do Than See the Avatar [Extended Cut]

By Katy 



1.) Explain to my mother I'm an atheist.
2.) Update my Facebook status thirteen times a day with varying Carrie Underwood lyrics; ending each night requesting that "Jesus take the wheel."
3.) Have the Cheers theme play every time I enter a building or residence.
4.) Give birth.
5.) Overhear someone praise the season finale of Lost.
6.) Work for Fox News as Bill O'Reilly's coffee fetcher.
7.) Go to an ICP concert in full Juggalo garb.
8.) Tell people I'm "straight-edge."
9.) Attend the Iowa State Fair.
10.) Read People Magazine.
11.) Teach my hypothetical, adopted, Asian son creationism.
12.) Eat fried tenderloins for every meal, every day.
13.) "Cruise the loop." Any loop. Any city.
14.) Attend a concert with Michael Edward Pickels.
15.) Quit smoking.
16.) Not get over my teenage angst and spend the rest of my life with mommy and daddy issues that subsequently keep me from ever feeling love, showing love, or believing in love.
17.) Pay for a DVR (or cable in general) that only plays episodes of Kenny V. Spenny.
18.) Watch the Titanic extended edition with commentary.
19.) Use meth.
20.) Follow Shirley Phelps Roper on Twitter.