Good morning, sun. It's been another week of scorchers here in America, the country God loves the most and the solar system hates the least. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is predicting that 2010 will be the hottest year on record. Rush Limbaugh responded by pointing out that on the evening of July 13th, he felt a cool breeze -- thus totally and definitively disproving that human activity is causing climate change. The power of that single anecdote could fire up a million suns!
Today's Sun Forecast
Like Justin Bieber, the sun is hot and getting hotter. Every billion years solar heat increases by ten percent. Eventually, the sun will be so hot that earth will no longer be able to support life or tween pop music.
Today's Sun Fact
French king Louis XIV was known as the Sun King because he too was made of hydrogen and helium.
Today's Sun Prediction
After months of boiling temperatures, the sun will be declared an enemy combatant and detained for indefinite questioning. The sun will spend the next billion years pursuing appeals until the entire legal system and all of humanity is swallowed up by its gaseous rays. Donald Rumsfeld will be the sole survivor.
This was great. I never even knew what the sun was until I read this article. I had just been staring at it, slackjawed, for the last 27 years.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS NOT A VERY OPTIMISTIC VISION OF OUR FUTURE SUN.
ReplyDeletehaha! OYIT is quickly becoming the go-to site for all things justin bieber.
ReplyDeleteI love this GM because I laughed AND learned! Thanks Keelin.
ReplyDeleteI love this, and I too am made of hydrogen!!
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