Surprise! This is my first ever shot at doing the entertainment article. Initially I was reticent to take over the article because I spend most of my time in the culture of "high arts," like Human Centipede (First Sequence) and or the Piss Christ exhibit at MoMA. Nevertheless, we have to bring the entertainment news to our readers in a way that they can understand. You shouldn't have to degrade your browser by visiting People or Perez Hilton, so here they are: ripped straight from the headlines of People.com and approved by my Catholic bishop.
Bethenny Frankel, a star of the "Real Housewives" series will not return to the show unless there are some changes. The first one is that the series focus more on the violence in Kyrgyzstan. Last season less than half of the episodes mentioned it.Snoop Dogg paid a "tribute" to True Blood by releasing a music video called "Oh Sookie." I love Alan Ball and my friends watch True Blood, but Snoop Dogg is the only thing lamer to me than vampires.
Maggie Gyllenhaal and Ashley Olsen showed up at a release party for the new YSL perfume (don't ask what it means). I live in the same neighborhood as Maggie and my childhood was eerily similar to Ashley's.
Megan Fox said she is more in love with Brian Austin Green than ever as they got re-engaged. She should be careful because one of BAG's friends shot himself on accident with his father's gun.
Mariah Carey has a new fragrance called Lollipop Bling. There is nothing remotely appealing to me about Mariah Carey or her perfume, but I did just download an album of her songs remixed by Trent Reznor.
Jesse James, the cowboy who cheated on Sandra Bullock with a Nazi, is moving to Austin, Texas. That's where cowboys belong!
Joel Madden of Good Charlotte said him and Nicole Richie are NOT getting married in June, for those of you who planned to travel wherever the wedding was and kill yourself in front of their invited guests. When is the last time Good Charlotte released an album? Or Nicole Richie for that matter?
Adam Lambert debuted his half-shaved head. I once shaved my head completely in college so once again Adam Lambert is the lesser me.
This was great Glenn. You did a better job with this article than I ever did.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping Jake would right this, actually. I was expecting to hear about Jeniffer Aniston's new, racy, sexy, nude-y role in some movie coming out soon. Besides that, it was super.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to hear about Jennifer Aniston's nude role! I can't wait to see her in the new David Wain movie.
ReplyDeleteGlenn, I loved it. And that's exactly why I stopped watching Real Housewives.
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