Good Morning Dennis Rodman

By Glenn 

Good morning. I've recently started listening to Wilco's first album "A.M." which came out in 1995. It has some classic songs on it, such as "Casino Queen" and "Bohemian Rhapsody," the latter of which being a cover of the classic Queen track. Speaking of queens, I've also spent a lot of time researching former basketball star Dennis Rodman for the unauthorized biography I'm writing about his life. Called I Am Dead Now, to follow up on his recent book I Should Be Dead By Now. In it I will explain why he wore the wedding dress and how hard it was to guard Karl Malone in the 1997 NBA Finals. These are two subjects Dennis and I have both personally dealt with.


Today's Weather
It's rather cold in California. There is this problem where during the day it can get hot because of what liberals call "the sun" and then at night very cold because of what conservatives call "the moon." This isn't a problem specific to California as I have very strong memories - too strong to have been implanted in me - of riding my bike to campus during the day and sweating but freezing as I rode home later that night after participating in a flash mob. Why can't the weather just make up its mind?


Today's Dennis Rodman Quotes

Because I can't stick to one, here are some of my favorites:

"I lost $35,000 in less than a week at the Mirage in Las Vegas."

"I understand what rappers are talking about. I think rap is less about educating people about the black community and more about making money."

"Wherever there's money, there's drugs, so to say drugs don't exist in the NBA would be stupid."

"It’s difficult to get in sync with all of the fucking Mormons out here."
(Dennis Rodman defending his poor performance in game 3. Rodman was later fined $50,000 for this remark. He apologized, claiming he was not insulting Mormons, but obnoxious Jazz fans.

I miss Dennis Rodman. He had a certain aura to him that cannot be recreated by the lumbering Shaquille o'Neal or the always astute Mayor of Sacramento Kevin Johnson.


Today's Wilco Album

I was really surprised by Wilco's self titled album from 2009. When Sky Blue Sky was released in 2007 and called adult contemporary rock I smiled to myself because I knew exactly what that reference meant. When I saw Wilco (the album) at Target last summer I bought it because that's what you do when you're new to North Dakota and don't know anyone. I'm glad I did because it ended up being my favorite of their albums since A Ghost Is Born. There are quite a few songs on it - eleven to be exact - but the best part of the album is the one-two punch of "One Wing" and "Bull Black Nova." Give it a shot if you haven't yet and like Wilco and like things from 2009 and were not offended by Dennis Rodman's comment about Mormons.


Today's Prediction
Dennis Rodman's attorney will send me a cease and desist letter after hearing of my plans for an authorized biography. The court case will inspire Wilco to write another album that critics call a "return to form for this struggling alt-country act." I'm going to do something about this weather that I regret for the rest of my life.