My wife thinks my weekly column is too controversial. I just call them the way I see them and nothing else. I'm not trying to get anybody worked up.
I wonder how the youth of today feel about olives.
An iron lung seems like a poor substitution for the real thing.
Snoopy could sleep on his roof and I can't. I guess that's what makes Snoopy so great.
I don't agree with what John Gacy did, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate his paintings.
Denny's makes the best bacon.
I'm only going to have three milkshakes this summer.
I looked through the Kama Sutra and was pretty confused.
I never saw what was so great about Bozo the Clown. He was just like every other clown.
I'm glad I don't have to worry about smallpox.
I respect firemen, but I don't respect the ancient Mayans.
Pez candy is better than nearly every other kind of candy.
Cotton is truly versatile.
Your column could not be less controversial. Nobody gives a shit about which color the best Power Ranger is or whatever the fuck you talk about.
ReplyDeleteI don't know Jake, I haven't heard someone talk about cotton like that since Eli Whitney.
ReplyDelete"I respect firemen, but I don't respect the ancient Mayans."
ReplyDeleteMove to Arizona you xenophobe!!
Maybe if you try out some of those Kama Sutra positions with your wife, Mikey, she wouldn't think your column was so controversial.
ReplyDeletedear lord.
ReplyDeleteolives are one of the only foods i despise.