Good morning, world! Welcome to the first of literally millions of good morning posts I'll be bringing you over the course of my life.
I know you all probably have some questions and concerns about my presence on this site. Well, let me tell you, I may not have Glenn's conservative credentials or Jake's attractive gum line, but I do have one thing: dedication. Dedication to mornings. And the information you need about them. So let's get started with a list of my favorite mornings of all time.
1. MORNING IN AMERICA
This may be the greatest morning in history because it lasted for several years in the 1980s! When Ronald Reagan uttered this phrase, peace immediately broke out throughout the world, a troop of girl scouts found Jimmy Hoffa's body and the price of gas plummeted to five cents a gallon. Later, when they heard about it in the Soviet Union by telegram, communism collapsed.
2. MORNING GLORY BY OASIS
Technically, this is a song about a flower and not an actual morning. By the way, did you know that the Gallagher brothers are actually just cousins?
3. MORNING AFTER PILL
Everyone knows the story about how Jonas Salk discovered penicillin from some moldy potato chips carelessly left out by his pet monkey. That's pretty much how this wonder drug came about, except instead of moldy chips it was a massive dose of birth control hormones and instead of being on accident it was totally on purpose.
Well, that's all for this first good morning post. Let me know how I did and I'll retaliate with passive aggressive comments next Friday!
Gr8 job Keelin. I hope that now that you're posting on OYIT regularly I stop typing a 'g' at the end of your name literally every time I write it, which is thousands of times per day.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite morning is "Another Morning Stoner" by ...And You Will Know us by the Trail of Dead.
I don't want to wait an entire week for passive aggressive comments.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Keelin! I just learned all the American history I will ever need!! And I ate an entire box of morning after pills!!!
ReplyDeleteWelcome Keelin. Mentioning What's the Story Morning Glory might what it takes to get Angad to finally read this site and god forbid comment.
ReplyDeleteHaha, as you know Glenn, everything I do is a desperate attempt to get Angad's attention. And to recapture the magic of my grunge-era youth.
ReplyDeleteI would have gone with Morning Bugle by John Hartford, but that's just because I was listening to bluegrass during the 90s grunge phase.
ReplyDeletethis is the best debut since phyllis schlafly debuted at DAR.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the team, Keelin (Jake, I'm expecting to slip an apostrophe or two after the name each time I type it, so we're in this together). Since you managed to regale us with tales of the day after pill, 90's music, AND communism, I am simply left to wonder why you haven't been writing for OYIT since day one.
ReplyDelete