Up in the Air: Deleted ChatRoulette Scene

By Nate



This scene takes place in the Career Transition Counseling office after the video conference firing system created by Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick) has been implemented and reviewed. The boss, Craig Gregory (Jason Bateman), loves the new system and wants to take it to the next level: chatroulette-style video conference firings. Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) continues his previous objections to the new system and new protocol.

CG: Well, gang, the results are in and Natalie's video firing system is fantastic. It works and, the bottom line is it's saving us money and time.

RB: I can't believe you're going forward with this, Craig. As I've said before, the video firing system is cold and impersonal. Firing people is an art and it takes skill that can't be conveyed over a computer screen.

CG: Ryan, I know you're arguing more for your way of life than the feelings of those we fire, so get on board with this or else. I don't want to have to let you go.

RB: I can't believe this.

CG: It doesn't matter. This is what we're doing. And we're taking it to the next level. Natalie, can you explain the new system?

NK: Yes, sir. We're taking the video firing system to the next level using state-of-the-art, ChatRoulette technology. Instead of linking to one company at a time, all of the incoming video links from multiple companies will be dropped into one universe.

After starting the video link, you will see a person on the other end. When they pop up, tell them they're fired and there is a packet next to them with all the answers and they need to move on. Then press F9 to move to the next person. If the person starts crying or is visibly upset, press F2 to report the problem and they will be linked to another universe where counselors will be using a similar ChatRoulette system to ease them through the news. To pause the system, press F8.

RB: You can't be serious. This is worse than the old system!

CG: Ryan, calm down and try it out. You'll see it works fine and is much more efficient.

NK: The video link is up on this laptop, Mr. Bingham. Give it a try.

RB: Ok, but I'm telling you, it won't work. [sits down, presses start, a face pops up] Hi, um, [to CG and NK] where is his name? What company is he with?

NK: It doesn't matter. Just tell them you're with Career Transition Counseling and have been asked by their company to help put them on a new career path.

RB: I'm sorry, but, uh, [to NK] what's pause?

NK: You can't pause mid-conference.

RB: I'm pressing next then.

NK: No, don't!

RB: What the fuck! There's a man wearing a leather mask furiously masturbating on my screen. Oh God, he just came! This is horrible.

CG: Not all the bugs have been worked out yet. Some normal ChatRoulette users are being put into the system somehow.

RB: That's it. I quit. [storms out of the office]

### End Scene ###