Crazy Morning Heart-On

By Nate

The Dude Abides:



All that hype from Maddie and me a few weeks ago has been justified by the Academy.

HUMP DAY REVIEW:

The Smithsonian has inducted the most important and symbolic symbol from Inauguration Day 2009 into its museum: Michelle Obama's ball gown.

Upon the passage of health care reform, Rush Limbaugh has pledged he will to move to Costa Rica - a state that abolished its army in 1949 to provide universal health care to its people.

In another ironic statement, Sarah Palin said she went to Canada to receive health care as a child. I'm frankly surprised she survived to tell about it.

Karl Rove wrote a book. No CIA agents were outed with its publication.

If you are one of the 40% of people who believe the Earth was formed through Creationsim, then please, by all means, go to Liberty University and reaffirm your belief by taking the class and receiving a fake college degree.

And to wrap this up, Congressman Eric Massa, D-NY, groped some staffers and resigned Tuesday. Glenn Beck, who used to refer to Massa as a terrorist, welcomed him to his show as a hero.

THIS WEEK IN THE FUTURE:

Saturday, the state of New Mexico will recognize Pluto as a planet mainly because that's what it was known as for almost a century. New Mexico is in the "Sun Belt." Old people retire there. Those old troglodytes hate change.

Pi Day is Sunday. How many decimal places of pi can you recite from memory?

DICK OF THE WEEK:



Dennis Kucinich won't vote for health care reform because it isn't liberal enough even though he might be the deciding vote against the bill.

What a dick.

NEXT WEEK:

The Ides of March! Poll: which OYIT writer would you most like to see betrayed and stabbed? Answer in the comments.

PREDICTIONS:

Mikey will win the poll, and Bub, Glenn, and Jake will conspire in the stabbing.