Good Morning Post State of the Union

By Glenn 

Good morning. Did everyone see the State of the Union speech last night? I know I did. My favorite part was when President Obama proposed that we replace the evening news with Yo Gabba Gabba and announced a kitten as his new Secretary of Commerce. These things appeal to me as a small child.

Today's Weather
I'm sure I sound like a "broken record" but it's fucking cold here - almost cold enough to break another record: me going more than 27 years without dying in a blizzard. The cold just hurts me when I walk outside. Granted I don't wear a hat because I don't want "hat head" and don't even use my


earmuffs

because I have headphones and it hurts to wear both. I'm still young. Young people do stupid things like not wearing hats all the time. For example, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold didn't wear hats when they murdered 12 people.


Today's School Shooting

This was awful. I was in high school when this happened and I remember the administrators taking a lot of precautions so that it wouldn't happen there. And it didn't, so it must have worked. They did try to institute random drug testing, which is also bad in a different way. Plus they forced the entire senior class of 2002 to go on a gender reassignment cruise where they were changed from one to the other. Ours was just to a picnic at someone's farm. There was a lake. No girls talked to me and I felt like Klebold and Harris. I just dealt with it differently.


Today's David Bowie Album

In 1995, David Bowie sort of "came back" with the album "1. Outside." Why there is a number in the title I will never know, nor do I want to know. He was trying to do some sort of industrial/techno/electronic shit to prove he was still relevant, but what Trent Reznor and Billy Corgan were doing at the time was much better. Obviously NONE of this has aged well, but there are a few really good songs on this album. I'd like to show you one if you feel comfortable watching it. You can actually see this video without advertisements beforehand. Probably because companies know there's no money in 90s Bowie.



Today's Prediction
Industrial music makes a big comeback and President Obama convenes an emergency session of Congress in order to deal with its destructive influence on our country. During this speech, there is a school shooting done by small children who were in the audience as part of a class field trip. They got the idea from an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.