Life With Mikey [11-30-09]

By Mikey

I'm sorry that I have missed the last couple weeks. I had to go out of town to the in-laws' house for turkey day. I call it turkey day because I don't want to sit there and list everything I'm thankful for. That's what this weekly column is for.


A violin is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

My wife knows as much about sports as I know about pressing a pair of pants.

I haven't had Arby's in two weeks and I'm starting to get withdrawals.

If it wasn't for cake, birthdays would be very depressing.

I wouldn't even feed an orphan Taco Bell.

Hagar the Horrible is the funniest viking by miles.

If I had to pick one thing that makes Three's Company so funny, I would choose the wacky mix-ups the characters seem to always find themselves.

I have that Jeff Foxworthy book about how to tell if you're a redneck. I am not a redneck, according to the book.

I have eaten spinach at three separate meals in the last week.

Why would a plumber fight a dinosaur? Some video games don't make much sense.

I don't have a Myspace page. I barely even know what one is.

When I turn on the top 40 pop radio station all I hear is songs with piano. What's the deal?

Swearing might be considered lowbrow, but it really gets the point across sometimes.

I still don't know what "this" is in that MC Hammer song.

Charlie Chaplin is funny, but his tramp character is a little too old-timey for me.