Chuck Berry kissed my mom at a concert in the 1970s. She was dancing in the front row, minding her own business, when he pulled her up on stage and kissed her in front of everybody. I can tell you one thing: he didn’t notice her because of her prime dancing skills – rhythm and grace are not the most notable attributes of my ancestors - but because she was pretty. Everyone thinks their own mother is pretty but, unlike most people's, mine really was. Back in high school she had been voted “Most Beautiful” two years in a row, and she was only slightly uglier now that she was in her late 20s.
When Chuck Berry initiated the make out session with my mother, my father turned into the cartoon picture of jealousy: his face bright red, steam whistling from his ears, his eyebrows furrowed in anger, etcetera. He wanted to storm out of the joint but my mom had the car keys, and she was obviously busy up on stage.
Tonight, a full 35 years after the infamous Kiss (the Kiss that almost made my sister and I not happen), I attended a free Chuck Berry concert in the streets of downtown Columbia. I spent most of the night standing directly behind the tallest man in the world, wedged between a middle-aged school marm slurping beer from a plastic cup and a drunken sorority girl whose shirt straps kept falling off.
I am depressed and embarrassed to admit that Chuck Berry did not kiss me, although he might have looked at me once or twice. I was standing on a ledge, trying to see over the tallest man in the world. I looked freakishly tall standing on that ledge. Chuck Berry may have squinted out into the mass of screaming drunks and thought “Who is that freakishly tall, yet also astoundingly beautiful, woman towering above my hordes of fans? I must have her. I must kiss her.” For some reason, probably because security was so tight, this didn’t happen. Instead, my friends E and C and I biked back to my place and ate some grapes.
Here are photos of my mom and Chuck Berry. The actual kiss was not captured on film, and also I am too lazy to photoshop the two photos into a hilarious reenactment, so please just use your imagination.
The list of famous people who have kissed your family is brutally short, but longer than my list.
ReplyDeletethis isn't a list of all of the famous people who have kissed members of my family -- this is only one small part of an impressively vast series.
ReplyDeletenext up: dad vs. dennis quaid.
if only i was in MO one more night i would've gone to this!
ReplyDeleteThe show wasnt that great. Ingrid, I think I was standing near you at one point!
ReplyDeleteyeah, he sounded a bit old at times. but, come on, he IS in his 80s. when i'm in my 80s i'm not leaving the la-z-boy.
ReplyDelete