Hi Katy - Issue XVI [300th Post Edition]

By Katy


Hello everybody! Welcome back to another week of serious soul searching. This week I had some tough questions. There are several things I don't have personal experience with and therefore had to answer as if I were in that situation. I hope it helps, but more importantly, I hope to never find myself in these situations. Enjoy readers, and don't forget to chuckle. It makes life last longer.

Hi Katy,
I'm on the waiting list for a kidney transplant and I'm really anxious about it. I don't want my kidney to fail and not be able to get the transplant when I need it. Is there anything I can do to help me relax and not think about it?
-Kidney Kara

Hi Kara,
I'd like to say I know exactly how you feel, but that's just untrue. Certainly, there isn't anyone who would WANT their kidney to fail (least of all me) so I can understand your concern with the impending situation. I'm not sure that there is much to do keep you from considering an agonizing death, but I can definitely offer some possibilities.

Get a Reiki massage. Find a nice, well trained masseuse who can balance and appease all your chakras. If you don't believe in such things don't worry, a massage is a massage and should be enjoyed nevertheless.

Read a novel. Preferably something that will keep your mind far away from your fatal future. I would recommend science fiction; people from the future don't have kidneys so they don't waste their time worrying about where their new ones will come from.

Play Plants V. Zombies. It's adorable! More importantly, I haven't thought of kidneys even once since I started playing. I think anyone trying to escape their problems should do so by stopping zombie invasions with horticulture.

I hope you get that kidney soon, it'll probably help your mood out a lot. Just be sure you don't get too anxious and get into the organ donor database and starting killing off possible candidates. That's not cool.

Hi Katy,
I have only been fishing a few times in my life. I sort of like it. My problem is, my husband is always going fishing but has never asked me to come along. Do you think he's sleeping around?
-Monogamous Marge

Hi Marge,
Paranoid much? It's clear that fishing really isn't one of your biggest passions, so I don't think you're upset about being left out of an activity you live for. Rather, you're upset that your husband has his own outlet with his own friends. Well stop it.

Just because two people are mixed up in a lifelong marriage, shouldn't mean they're expected to share every moment of life together. Your husband probably just needs some time to enjoy his favorite activity with some of his closest male friends. Bonding, they call it. It doesn't mean he's off in motel rooms banging $20 hookers, he's just relaxing the best way he knows how. You should feel free to do the same with your closest friends. I'm sure there's some activity that you enjoy that your husband does not, and he shouldn't be expected to participate solely because you've signed a semi-binding contract to share your items.

I didn't really want to mention this, but it seems like now or never. He could be cheating on you of course. Anyone could be cheating on anyone at any point, it's really just human nature. He's probably more likely to cheat on you if you're going to continue to be so stifling. I suggest you back off a little bit instead of urging him to go find someone else more fun to spend his life with.

As always, I encourage couples having problems to talk it out. Maybe he doesn't know that you'd like to go fishing with him sometimes. Explain to him that you're jealous he's leaving you at home and maybe you can work out a fishing trip just for the two of you, but please don't try to get invited to every single one. Everybody's gotta have something and fishing is his thing. I hope all goes well.

Hi Katy,
Last night I watched the classic comedy Arsenic and Old Lace. Cary Grant is hilarious as the frantic family member to a bunch of crazies and murderers. I don't mean to sit here and discuss Grant's fantastic acting chops, what I really want to know is are there any other Cary Grant movies I should check out? Thanks.
-Movie Mike

Hi Mike,
I am also a very big fan of Arsenic and Old Lace. Unfortunately my Cary Grant knowledge is pretty limited as that's all I've really seen since I've been old enough to retain movie information. I have just recently put quite a queue of Cary Grant movies on my Netflix so I can become better acquainted with his filmography. If you have a Netflix account I would definitely recommend starting there and they'll hopefully match some movies that you're likely to enjoy.

As for straight out recommendations, it's been a long time since I've seen it, but Gunga Din is a pretty good starting point. While I don't recall a lot about it, I have always liked saying the same of the movie out loud and it's pretty revered in the 30's film industry. I've also heard a lot of good things about The Philadelphia Story and that's at the top of my Cary Grant list.

While I haven't been much help, I hope this helps and it warms the cockles of my heart to find people are still enjoying the classics. Thanks for writing in!

Hi Katy,
My favorite board game is probably Mouse Trap, but it's too difficult and time consuming to set it up. The Rube Goldbergian game has a great payoff, but is the set up worth the end product?
-Mouse Trap Molly

Hi Molly,
The set up is the ONLY payoff in Mouse Trap, in my opinion. In fact, you're the first person I've ever talked to that actually plays the game. That takes guts. It's a pretty boring game save the fun of setting up and setting off the contraption. But you seem to be the complete opposite. You don't like setting up the game but you enjoy playing it. Maybe you should find some more boring board games?

Mouse Trap is up there in a league with 13 Dead End Drive and Goosebumps: One Day at Horrorland, but they can't all be counted as equals. 13 Dead End Drive is time consuming to set up, but more importantly the game play is pretty dull. While you can set off some traps here and there they only work about 35% of the time and it really takes a while to get anywhere. The Goosebumps game (specifically the One Day at Horrorland) is time consuming to set up, but it's game play is unparalleled. The traps in the game come into play often and their outcome completely effects whether you'll survive the attractions or go home sobbin' to mommy.

So, given that assessment of those like games, I say scrap Mouse Trap and shoot for Goosebumps. Every second from the time the box is opened to when you've gathered the coveted survival chips, life is but a thrill. If you don't have the time for happiness and thrills go with the classic; Splat. I'm not saying it's boring, I love that game, but it only uses Playdough and there isn't much clean up required. Contact me some time for a board game night!

Hi Katy,
I find your weekly column very helpful and insightful. I was wondering if you could tell us more about yourself? What are your favorite movies, books, albums, and foods?
-Curious Carol

Hi Carol,
It's very nice of you to ask me those questions. I don't usually like to take up an entire answer talking about myself and my likes, but I've put this question off for too many weeks and I feel it's only fair that my readers know a little bit about me.

I live only for you. I listen to whatever music I'm asked about, the same goes for movies. I do read five books every week so I have a constant source of information to go off of. I make sure to go on a date at least once a week so my dating knowledge is alway current, but I haven't been in a committed relationship for three years. But I mean, I've been in them before so don't start doubting my committed relationship advice.

I explore asylums, hospitals, libraries, malls, jailhouses, elementary schools and anywhere else I find might come in handy for social networking/study. I have fifteen online profiles on seventeen different dating sites, and one where I'm a man living in Oregon as the owner of a vegetarian restaurant. Why? It's all for you; I can continue learning and growing from social interactions of all kinds from the viewpoint of both sexes and people from every walk of life. My goal: to know almost everything.

I don't eat food very often because I'm trying to lose weight and in all my research, I've found anorexia to be a gift from the Goddess. When I did eat, I really enjoyed different ethnic foods; Indian, Italian, Thai, Mediterranean, Japanese, Ethiopian, and discarded fetuses. Feti? My diet now mostly consists of coffee, water, X-Lax, and hummus.

I listen to books of wisdom on CD while I sleep to ingrain all the knowledge of the world in my brain. I greet the morning with a breath of fire, feed my cat, and look over my high school yearbook to remember how far I've come. I'm pretty much like everyone else, except I put my pants on two legs at a time because the extra effort of jumping helps shed a few calories.

It was delightful letting you all know a little about me, thank you for your question,o Carol.

Hi Katy,
How can I tell where I belong? I've lived and worked at many places around this great nation, and I have done okay in each setting but never really thrived. I'm currently unemployed and would move anywhere if I found a good job, but how am I supposed to develop or recognize that "gut feeling" that a place is where I belong? Do people really even "belong" anywhere? Why do I "use" quotes so much?
-Quoting Quentin

Hi Quentin,
I'll try to answer your questions to the best of my ability, I think it's best if I start at the end and work my way back up.

You use quotes too often because you're unsure about yourself, it's a sign of instability. Given your question and your current situation it makes all kinds of sense. You're unwilling to devote your thought to an actuality and thus you subconsciously create an abstract by encasing one word in quotes. Lots of people do it, and it's really grammatically obnoxious. Perhaps reading this will help you curb that habit.

Moving on. "Do people really even 'belong' anywhere?" I think there are two ways to look at this question. Do I think there's some universal pull to a person to settle down in one distinct predetermined location? No, I don't. However, I do think that people can belong somewhere. It's all about the right fit. I think it requires some sense of accomplishment before you settle down and become happy with your surroundings. Now, accomplishment is not universal and can range from having children, getting married, landing your dream job or home, finding the right group of friends, location plausibility (whether it's ideal for work, family relations, family separations, a child's school, etc.), state legislatures that fit your needs (gay marriage, medical marijuana, turning right on a red light), cultural proximity (religious, ethnic, etc.), you get the idea. Don't be concerned if you haven't found the place that fits you the best, everyone is different.

Perhaps you haven't found the place for you because you're a rambler at heart. Maybe your accomplishment is to live in several places, make several friends, and have a life time of ever-changing experiences! If you haven't found what you're looking for then there's no reason to settle down. I don't think you'll ever get that "gut feeling" that where you are is where you belong. I do think that if you think logically about the pros and cons of your location and try to picture your life there forever, you'll come to a conclusion whether or not you want to stay. Remember, as I said before, your heart may want to continue searching. In fact, don't even think of it as searching. If you're meant to be a rover then a rover you shall be. Think very seriously about whether or not you want to settle down, or if you enjoy the fast-paced life of moving around. Therein you'll find your answer.




I hope everyone enjoyed this issue and the fact that it's the 300th!!! post for OYIT. An accomplishment not only for myself, but surely greater for everyone involved. E-mail me at katy@oneyearintexas.com and have a great week!