One Week Entertainment [4-4-09]

By Jake

I asked Kaleena if I could write this article this week. She'll be back next week, but you're going to have to deal with me this time around. It's been several weeks since I did one of these, so let's see if I still have "it."

Candy Spelling doesn't talk to her daughter, actress Tori Spelling, or grandchildren. If my name was Candy I wouldn't speak to my parents.

Annoying actress Katherine Heigl is staying with Grey's Anatomy.

Madonna is adopting more babies. People are mad about it, but those people are assholes. Those babies are hitting the lottery instead of having to eat dirt for every meal and bathe in feces.

Pamela Anderson and Richie Rich are teaming up to make a line of eco-friendly clothing. Casper the friendly ghost could not be reached for a comment.

Rachel McAdams just learned about Twitter, and I just learned about Rachel McAdams.

Halle Berry is ready for another baby.

Alysson Hannigan had a daughter.

John Mayer is getting ready to work on a new album. I'm getting ready to turn the fucking radio off.

Star Jones is fat on the inside.

Simpsons are going to get their own stamps.

Heidi Montag has had a few songs put on the internet. If you follow her on Twitter (and you should) you would know this already.

An unfinished version of the new Wolverine movie has leaked onto the internet. I don't care enough to watch it, but it's easy to find if you do. Supposedly the version of Wolverine that leaked is the same version that made Fox go into reshoots. So if you hear that it sucks, don't be surprised for the theatrical version to be significantly different.

Nicolas Cage has sold his German Castle.

We can all sleep easy: Project Runway is returning in the summer.

First lady Michelle Obama has been invited to guest star on 30 Rock.

There's a remake of Footloose on the way. Fuck that.

Demi Moore tweeted somebody out of committing suicide.