Life with Mikey [4-6-09]

By Mikey

The weather is really getting nice now. I've been washing my car three times a week just to get outside. The other four days I make my kids wash it so they don't spend all their time playing their video games. How much Wii Tennis does a kid need to play anyway? Haven't these kids ever heard of real tennis or badminton?

• My wife made me some minestrone soup a few days ago. It was like eating the devil's vomit.
  
  
• Subway or Quiznos? I say neither, just give me a hotdog.
  
  
• Does anybody have more soul than John Popper?
  
  
• I've never laughed as hard as when I was watching tonight's rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond.
  
  
• Snoopy is my favorite Peanuts character. He's also the best writer in that comic strip.
  
  
• Why would anybody ever drink 7-Up? It just doesn't make sense to me.
  
  
• If I gave my kid a Slinky they'd cry because it wasn't a Super Mario Brother or something. Kids today don't get life's simple pleasures.
  
  
• Wiffleball should be an Olympic event.
  
  
• So Twitter is just Facebook status updates without all the great applications like Super Poke? I can't make sense of this and I've been trying to for at least two weeks.
  
  
• Snoop Dogg might be a former gang member, but that doesn't keep me from enjoying his new talk show on MTV. I'd rather watch Snoop Dogg than Charlie Rose any day.
  
  
• There are so many different kinds of pasta that sometime I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
  
  
• The last time I even considered doing a beer bong Ronald Reagan was still the president.
  
  
• I have one son.
  
  
• The most bizzare thing I've ever seen is those "Jackass" guys.
  
  
• If you want to see a horrible impression, ask me to do my Ted Danson.