Good Morning from OYIT [Last day of March]

By Glenn

Good morning. I apologize for yesterday's faux pas, but I'm sick. The sickness isn't GRID, HPV or a sore neck (all of which I have), but something much more sinister. I'm addicted to Yahoo's Literati. Literati is like a bastardized version of Scrabble that's free. Since I believe nothing on the internet is worth paying for, Literati is what we use when we want to have fun while also challenging our minds. Long after everyone I loved went to bed on Sunday night, I stayed in Social Lounge 17 - trying desperate to find a Literati challenge or an internet lover. I found both but it kept me up so late that I overslept through my good morning post. It won't happen again.

[It actually almost happened again last night, but after a thrilling game between Jake, Nate and I was able to close the window cold turkey. Most of the people I met there I can know "Skype" with anyway.]


Today's Weather

There's something weird going on with our weather lately in the Midwest and I'm not talking about then end of global warming after Saturday's Earth Hour. It was deathly cold (literally: hundreds of deaths) on Sunday but then yesterday it was gorgeous. Now today, as you can see from the picture, we're going to be full of red triangles and partial clouds. Spring has officially started and we're all waiting for nice, sunny weather to bring our nation's bears our of hibernation. If we don't activate those bears soon, we may never be able search out and destroy menstruating women. Please be careful of that giant "L" too.



Today's Memorial
As Jake alluded to yesterday, the Missouri Basketball Tigers got less points in a game they played on Saturday afternoon. By the arcane rules of the National Championship Association of Athletes, that means they are dismissed from the championship tournament and have to go back to the University of Missouri to have sex with prostitutes and automatically receive As in all of their classes. I feel like I've been following them from the beginning, though I only watched their three most recent games. Nevertheless, I wanted to take a page out of urban culture and "pour one out" for the MU Basketball Tigers. Fellas, you had a great season and this one's for you:
Pouring it out like UConn poured points into the game Saturday


Today's Pending Legislation

There are many great things about the United States, chief among them being the freedom to write on this website. Our passion for national service, best exemplified during the Vietnam war, is unparalleled and soon it will hopefully be perpendicular as well. Incorrect geometry analogies can only mean one thing: today's pending legislation is the Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education (aka GIVE) Act. This bill will expand the funding for AmeriCorps and make sure that every child in America will spend at least one year "volunteering" in a salt or coal mine before graduating 8th grade. This bill actually passed the House and Senate last week, but then something happened where they have to vote on it again. I brought the bill up last Friday when I was a panelist on a right wing talk show, and the response was overwhelming negative. Par for the course, I suppose, but if we can't send young people to help clean up disaster areas or teach our rotten children where can we send them?


Today's Prediction
The GIVE Act will pass, be signed by President Obama, and the majority of 18-19 year olds in the US will be sent to Cedar Rapids, Iowa to help with flood relief. (Parts of the town are still ravaged by trash and low birth weight, almost a year after the floods of 2008.) The MU Basketball Tigers will play an outdoor basketball game to raise money for AmeriCorps, but not until we have a week of 70 degree plus weather. While they wait for that to happen, they will play Literati and mostly lay words that have to do with basketball (but not exclusively).

2 comments:

  1. Last night's game of Literati with Nate was great. Nate got two 7 letter words in a row, but Glenn still managed to win when Nate got disconnected from the internet (because Glenn yanked out his DSL cable).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Glennjamin. I'm going to have to start blogging about your blog.

    ReplyDelete

no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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