This Week's Porn Trend: Anal Bleaching

By Jake

This article is clearly on the more adult side. This is not for the virginal Christian-types that often frequent humor blogs. If you are easily offended by pornography, anuses or bleaching, then this is not an article for you. Please, by all means, don't feel obligated to read it. I know you already don't based on the title, but this article is a bit risque and don't want people to see any of it before the break. This is not part of the article, merely a warning. There are no pictures.


I may not watch as much pornography (which will be referred to as porn from this point forward) as the lonely masturbator these days. I have been in a monogamous relationship for nearly five years. Yet, I'm no Che Guevera, either. I do sometimes indulged myself in a game of "shoot the sheriff, but don't shoot the deputy," and I do this while watching pornography on one of the many free internet youtube-like pornography websites like a person under 45 would.

A thing that surprises me about the annals of pornography is that as the year go forward and pornography gets more intense (with extreme sexual perversions like bukkakes and scat replacing more tame things like a well-trimmed bush) and the resolution of cameras get clearer is that women are willing to do nearly anything to keep from looking disgusting.

This leads me to this week's porn trend (this is just a title, more than it is the flavor of the week): the bleached asshole. As the rhyme goes "if there's grass in play, go to the ass, I say; if there's brown around, please don't frown, you clown."

These days in porno, not only are the bushes our mother's wore with pride like a Purple Heart completely shaved off, but the assholes are as white as the wardrobe in a Klansman's closet. This is what is considered "hot" (not as in hot in temperature, but as in what young people say instead of 'attractive') in modern time. This brings up an interesting question, though: what do we do if there's white instead of brown?

If there's white don't fight? If there's white take a bite? You see white turn on the lights? When there's white it isn't tight?

Well, one thing I can say for certain is that rhymes aren't always true. There are occasions (I believe) when rappers may be exaggerating on their experiences on "the streets" and sometimes I think that the Wu-Tang Clan might not really be from Shaolin. So to let rhymes dictate your life seems a bit on the absurd side, don't you think?

While Wikipedia offers little help with explaining in detail the process of anal bleaching, it does bring one thing to light.

"A cream is used containing around 20% hydroquinone (a suspected carcinogen banned by several countries) as an active ingredient."

So anal bleaching has a level of carcinogens making it a cancer risk.

Is having a lighter, non-brown anus worth the (cancer) risk? This is what one must meditate upon when considering such things. I know how I would answer the question, but I don't have sex for money on film. I would like to, but I'm considering other career paths at the moment. If I were to go into pornography, I would say that I'd like it be brown. That's just me.

What if you did had sex for money on film? Would the slight brown hue around one's anus really be worth the risk of cancer? What if you got addicted to anal bleaching the same as one get addicted to cigarettes? Maybe your ass would be so white it would give a glare off from the lights that are illuminating your asshole. That would totally ruin the scene.

This is obviously a personal choice. If you really feel the need to have a lighter anus, then by all means, please do so. If anybody out there has a bleached anus, then please send a picture of it to jake@oneyearintexas.com. If you don't, you can also send me an email, so I can compare. Please, this is for serious research.

I feel like it should be noted that this kind of treatment is racist, as it only works for light skinned people.