Good morning. I got some very kind comments after my post yesterday, which is exactly what I wanted. Thank you for hearing my cry for help. At the same time, no one noticed my cry for help in the weather section. This leads me to believe that no one reads the "Today's Weather" section of my column - or that those who read it feel so uncomfortable by what they read that they were paralyzed and didn't know how to respond. Either way, I'm a little upset. Let's hope people read about the weather today's edition. I put it in here so you can figure out what to wear before you leave the house in the morning.
[Cries for help will hopefully be less and less frequent in this article as I go in for my first round of shock treatments on Friday.]
Today's Weather
I used a slightly different map today because I thought the map I had been using had contributed to the slightly inappropriate nature of yesterday's weather report. This one is nice because it doesn't tell you the name of the states. The only way to find out where you are on the map is to go outside and see if the sky is green, white or purple.
Today, But In a Different Year
Twenty-three years ago today the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. If you haven't watched the video I would recommend it. There's no one reading this who has forgotten what it was like in that moment - to be full of such hope for America's teachers, astronauts and rockets. We thought they were all invincible. We were wrong. I hope your day turns out better than it did in 1986.
Today's Joke:
Four members of the local Knights of Columbus walk into a bar. One orders a Bud Select, two order Budweisers and one orders a Bud Light. Four members from the Knights of Columbus group in a nearby town then walk into a bar and three of them order Budwesiers immediately. The fourth member takes out a pack of cigarettes and searches for his matches. Not finding them, he turns to the table with the members from the local Knights of Columbus chapter and asks if anyone has a light. One of them offers his Bud Light to the smoker, thinking he wanted a light beer. The smoking out of town Knights of Columbus member says that he meant a light for his cigarettes. The person with the Bud Light understands but says he would have given the light beer to him anyway because he's a fellow Knights of Columbus member. Nearby, the bartender wonders to himself what exactly people do in the Knights of Columbus, without realizing he won't live long enough to learn the answer.
Today's Prediction
The heavy precipitation on the East Coast is going to cause some fatalities, including at least one reader of this website.
That is the best joke I have heard in a very long time. Perhaps since the joke 'flight controllers looking very carefully at the situation, obviously a major malfunction'. It's going to be over 110 today for the third straight day here. I believe that is a purple sky.
ReplyDeleteI've started waking up really early (well, really early for me), and it's so nice to have this Good Morning post waiting for me! I like to save it for after I've had breakfast, and it helps me finish preparing for my day. Thanks, Glenn!
ReplyDeletei'm happy to see gray over indiana as opposed to the seemingly never-ending blues and purples (those mean REALLY cold, bub, i'm thinking you're in a red zone).
ReplyDeletealso, i will tell that joke around the office today and see if anyone will start talking to me finally.
i hope that reader is me.
ReplyDeleteMaddie I hope that reader isn't you. I hope it's a neo-Nazi or David Duke on a Rhode Island vacation.
ReplyDeletei didn't know david duke read oyit!
ReplyDeleteOnly when on vacation in Rhode Island. His friends back home in the Republican Party, I mean Klu Klux Klan, would never let him hear the end of it if they found out.
ReplyDelete