Good morning from us here at One Year in Texas!
Every weekday morning from now until the end of the George Bush presidency we are going to post some things to help you start your day off right. Some days it'll be prophetic and some days pathetic - but you'll always know where to point your browser when you get to work in the morning. Whether it's catching up on the latest celebrity "news," finding out that day's weather forecast or getting the actual lottery numbers for the evening's Pick 5 before it happens, point your browser here every morning.
[I apologize for using the phrase "point your browser here" twice in the preceding paragraph but I thought that minor annoyance would brace you for your day.]
Today's Weather Forecast:
As you can see, the upper Midwest and Northeast are going to be hit HARD by a sinister Arctic cold front. Just when you thought after Christmas that Santa and his Four Reindeer of the Apocalypse were done reigning terror on us from up North, this hits. If you live in what political junkies call "purple America" you need to be careful. At temperatures this low you're better off sssssssssstttttttaaaaayyyyyyiiiiiinnnnggggggggg iiiiiinnnnnnnnsssssiiiiide --Sorry about that. It's so cold outside that some of the letters are freezing on the way to your computer from the typewriter I'm using to write this. For those of you in California, please be careful as today two smaller yet proportionally intense hydrogen suns will appear over the San Fransisco and Los Angeles metro areas.
Today's Inspirational Quote:
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
H. L. Mencken
Today's Offer of the Day:
Blockbuster's Total AccessFriday is traditionally the last day of the work week in America (in France, it's Wednesday) but if you're like me you don't have a job, you have no one to go see and you can't even conceive of a reason to leave your house in the next 4-5 days.
That's why this is such a great deal. For an indeterminate amount of money you can rent movies through the mail from Blockbuster.com and you never have to leave your house. What better way to spend your upcoming weekend than catching up on all the hijinx from the old "Party of Five" gang (or some other sad throwback to the 1990's)? The twist to this otherwise benevolent offer is that
Today's Goodbye:
Goodbye. Have a great day.
Thank you!! This WILL get my day off right. I will read it again in the morning to make sure of that. The weather map made me homesick (I love maps). And I laughed out loud (I think we should bring back spelling it out) at the hydrogen suns (easy to do, I know, not being in California) and at the Mencken quote. I also really liked that you promised winning lotto numbers before the drawing and then didn't mention them again.
ReplyDeletei was banking on those lotto numbers - but also, any hydrogen suns over the northeast/midwest anyday soon ? i'm really sick of this purple stuff (and i don't mean the delicious purple stuff in the gallon jug in those sunny-d commercials - that stuff's the best).
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact that Glenn is getting Lost from Blockbuster. I have never seen Lost. That is another fact. A third fact is that I bought 8 blocks of tofu today!
ReplyDeleteI hope to see one of these every morning, Glenn. This is a great article.
To Kaleena and Bub, thank you for the kind words. To Jake, thank you for the words - kind and otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThis article is the only promise that we've ever kept, for this site or in our personal lives.
ReplyDelete